The Friend Zone (Part 1)

So, i got a lot of feedback from a lot of people, and everyone seemed to like my blog, since most of ya'll are my friends and fam, or at least know me personally, its hard to tell which one of ya'll are just being supportive by nugding me on, and which one of ya'll are actually reading, so from next week we're going to start having tests and exams on my blog topics ! Gotcha ! I Kid I Kid, I Joke I Joke, Thank you very much for your support, am loving it and loving you !

Blogging !!!!
Its the same story and scenario all over the globe, it don't matter where you're from or what language you speak, it don't matter what color you are or which God you worship, it don't even matter if you're a pygmy from Congo, or a giant from Germany, when you find yourself thinking of doing nasty things to your friend, while he or she only wants to love you as a sibling, you're in the world reknowned ''friend zone''. And i'll bet my heritage, majority of ya'll reading right now have been in this special place at least once in your lifetime, i know i have!

First logical question is, how the hell did i end up here ? I asked her out on a date, didn't i ? I held the door open at the bar, right ? Hey, i even held her bag for her while she put on her jacket ! I was a perfect gentleman all through the evening, i didn't even go in for the goodnight kiss, i just shook her hand and left. Now think, cassanova, scratch your head, bite your fingernails, clench ur fists, think doofus, think deep! Ding ! Flashbulb ! There you go, you were a 'perfect gentleman' all through the evening, see girls don't want perfect gentlemen, they want 'men', take off the gentle at the door, and stuff the perfect in your pocket. As usual, am going to only talk from a male's perspective, because its easier for me to talk about something that i have experienced and i can easily relate to, plus this is mostly a man's problem, am yet to meet a girl, thats stuck in a friendzone with a normal, straight, potent man with full functional anatomy.

A very long time ago i was in the friend zone for a couple of years, with a very good friend of mine, truth be told, i did tell her i was in lust with her, but by then it was too late, i was so much in that zone, that i was even friends with her boyfriend (somebody say Loser), and we all used to hang out together and even though i had no shortage of females, everytime i ran into her, my heart'll skip, God knows i tried everything, i mean, if i start listing some of the shit i tried and shes reading this, my phone is going to ring and i am going to get cursed out like a schoolboy that just messed up his sunday suit. I mean i knew it was't love cuz i didn't feel like killing the guy, so i held it together, saw movies like 'something about mary, are we there yet, and some lousy episodes of Friends' and i truly believed there was hope for me, damn hollywood with their make believe !

The most annoying part in my opinion is the mandatory talks you have with her, like you know when they have a fight, and she comes running to you and you're supposed to sit there, listen and be supportive and then your dumb ass probably say something like like 'you should dump him, he's an asshole' and she looks at you, and goes 'i can't, i will miss him too much, besides the sex is incredibly great' ! and then she cries some more and hugs your sorry ass.. hahaha, am sorry i just had to laugh at that image, it reminded me of someone...

Anyways we did hook up at last, me and my good friend(no further details people. sorry, i know you want to hear the juicy stuff but i live in the middle east, so discretion is advised), and yeah it was indeed worth the wait, now i don't know if it was my patience that paid off, or it was a 'Chris Rock: dick in a jar - break in time of need' moment for her, i honestly have no idea, am just glad she stopped calling me her brother cuz that shit was starting to freak me out ! I have no advice for you if you're stuck in the friend zone, male or female, straight or gay, i wish i did, cuz then if it worked, you would come back to my blog and read again, unfortunately i don't, but i do have some suggestions though...

1. Grab Something on your first date (if you're smart you'll figure it out)
2. Always go in for the goodnight kiss (even if you get slapped in return, your point has been made, wink wink)
3. Selection of Music (Khia - my neck my back, Kelis - milkshake, Juve - Back Dat Ass up, L.L Cook J - Doin it and my fave, Cam'ron - touch it or not) he/she should get the point !
4. Never Ever look away when the cleavage is in your face
5. READ MY BLOG before you head out ! let the words playback in your head, player !

With Love

A Saint & A Sinner